Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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