1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The feeling are messing with the penis
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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