btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
