Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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