Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
