You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's never too late to be topless.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
