And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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