If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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