He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
