I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
