thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
