you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
