if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Randomize
