I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
