kristin has been a bad kristin
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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