Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
