id be glad to
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
