Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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