STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
