I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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