sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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