whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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