So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
