did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
