Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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