Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
where are you?
Hypothermia
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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