FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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