We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize
