This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
