My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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