All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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