first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
