All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
