I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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