shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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