Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Success! We fucked roommates!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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