Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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