Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
