sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize
