tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
