Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
