he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
two words: eviction party
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
