I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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