the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So vagazzling was a success
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
