Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
