This girl is more easily done than said...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
