I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
