I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
of course. lets lasso hookers.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
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