found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
