Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
