Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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